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The Answer to the Riddle Is Me

A Memoir of Amnesia

Audiobook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available

Imagine waking up in a train station in India with no idea who you are or how you got there. This is what happened to David MacLean.

In 2002, at age twenty-eight, David MacLean woke up in a foreign land with his memory wiped clean. No money. No passport. No identity.

Taken to a mental hospital by the police, MacLean then started to hallucinate so severely he had to be tied down. Soon he could remember song lyrics and scenes from television shows but not his family, his friends, or the woman he loved. All of these symptoms, it turned out, were the result of the commonly prescribed malarial medication he was taking. Upon his return to the States, he struggled to piece together the fragments of his former life in a harrowing, absurd, and unforgettable journey back to himself.

A deeply felt, closely researched, and intensely personal book, The Answer to the Riddle Is Me, drawn from MacLean's award-winning This American Life essay, confronts and celebrates the dark, mysterious depths of our psyches and the myriad ways we are all unknowable, especially to ourselves.

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    • AudioFile Magazine
      Neil Shah's smooth voice is perfect for MacLean's introspective memoir about finding himself in a foreign country without any recollection of his identity. Shah grasps MacLean's utter confusion and panic during the horrific hallucinations he experienced, caused by an antimalarial drug. Shah flawlessly simulates the Indian accents of those who tried to help solve the mystery of MacLean's identity and why he was in India. The story is both captivating and thought provoking as MacLean rediscovers his personality, his past, and his present. Having someone else vocalize this memoir adds to the sense of an author who has lost his sense of self. D.Z. © AudioFile 2014, Portland, Maine
    • Publisher's Weekly

      September 30, 2013
      MacLean fearlessly explores his journey to the edge of madness and his subsequent return to sanity in an unsettling, sometimes riotous, memoir. Destabilized by the brutal side effects of anti-malaria medication in India, MacLean hurtled into near-total amnesia. “I couldn’t even think of what name would have been on a passport if I had one or what foreign country I was currently in. This is when I panicked.” Committed to a mental hospital, where his allergic drug reaction is diagnosed, MacLean flails unsuccessfully for solid mental touchstones while making vivid, sometimes lovely observations about the swirl of life around him. After a rough return to his Ohio home, he adapts skills “used by any con man” to feign recognition and familiarity with his personal history. He breaks up with his girlfriend, nearly a stranger, and returns to India. The harsh effects of the drug Lariam are described soberly and clinically, but his account of returning to a foreign land proves especially disorienting, though an interlude of romantic misadventure offers some comic relief. He painfully reconstructs his breakdown, which was followed by a return to graduate school and a dreary routine of drinking, punctuated by troubling dreams that left him awake, alone, and bereft. The uneasy peace he attains grows stronger by the end of the book, when it’s oddly cheering to read “everyday crazy is something I can handle.” Agent: Eleanor Jackson, Dunow, Carlson & Lerner Literary.

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  • English

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