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All these years of being a world-class schlub would finally pay off. Thinking quickly, Gross wrote an article about the phenomenon and soon found true love. In this hilarious memoir-cum-guidebook, our curly-headed hero shares his story and offers suggestions on leaving home (the bedbugs and consequent breakup forced a move back to his parents' loving arms), losing weight (but not too much), dressing well, playing poker to fulfill the typical schlub obsession with being good at sports, and much more. Naturally, the quest to find the right woman is of critical importance, and Gross expounds on this thoroughly. Readers will come away from the book enlightened, informed, and laughing hysterically.